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1.
Dead Instead 03:06
stationary thoughts within a stationary life to bleed internally on the outside, remember when i died trapped behind a corrupt mind i hear it when you cry obliged to live inside i bleed cloaked blood from my eyes wind blows, the snow knows, darkest times, my heart shows frozen, bleeding, oh god i'm seething, constant dreaming of skull teething iced over 4 leaf clover no luck here scorched by torch blower my brain is beating, mental retreating, scream for life as yours is receding Fucked over shit never gets bolder and you'll never see and you'll never be crying out hopeless addicted and dopeless my mind is the hostess, in me there is no bliss I swear i'm getting sick of all this, why worry when things are all shit I don't know why it is, living to be worthless freezing cold still no luck no gold growing old my brain growing mold conflicting within my soul not sold change of pace forget what you've been told lies for masses read through broken glasses wasting their time in classes and depression misread mislead it's all the same in my head wish you were dead instead of number one It's the Icon of Sin and you'll never win not you or thousands of men broken down thrown in the trash bin the curse that is ever lastin blastin and slashin those demons im mashin depression agression i fight for my sanity im coming down raise my hate for humanity come to realize i have no integrity the opposition in my position would still be bitching, I know the mission now i'm pissin fuck what i'm missin i will not listen now you know, the shit i blow, the water flows into my submission deny the truth and live for you do what it takes to get shit done the water flows into my submission [its running fast and im fucking fishin] fuck the truth can't get shit done [hurdle yourself into the sun]
2.
slave to the mental concave reminded of problems i won't leave unscathed please don't forget that i'm not brave don't count on me for i cannot save comin back, too scared to attack intimidated by what i lack and i slack off and jack off dont question what is blacked off all i ask is for you to back off propelled by dreams and lack of seams seamlessly i cling to things that exist but not for any means like me and you forced to not see forced to not see blinded by thousands of lies do we even recognize the fucking disguise we do not respond to the cries and pleas tossed out on the water to die on the seas as its seized and we come to climax all we know will up and turn their i-backs you learn so slowly but remember that i'm maxed attempt to overthrow bullshitting as "sly facts" escape the slavery that you were born in retain what is real make your way mourn in blinded by thousands of lies do we even recognize the fucking disguise we do not respond to the cries and pleas tossed out on the water to die on the seas as its seized and we come to climax all we know will up and turn their i-backs you learn so slowly but remember that i'm maxed attempt to overthrow bullshitting it as "sly facts" factor in the constant sin the only true state of mind that i live in but why live for one when you only do bad why live at all when you only feel sad
3.
Collapse and repress into your natural state anxiety and sobriety on my plate diving into the terrible fate mentally i am out of date emotionally i am a nuclear fallout i long for you this is my callout i try and try but my brain is fried i wont choose to lie or look to the sky i see with my eye a chance to escape i need this now more than ever in my shit shape turn my back and throw out the factors it's history now and i'm walking backwards you say to push but i can't move faster laid out now i'm fucking plastered (Doomknobs) phantom on the mattress, trying to withold testosterone see it, beat it, free it, eat it, wake up 10 minutes from home with a black eye, guy friend tailing me acting like it's all good but a look in his eye will leave you relieved, and he'd stop all the words if he could Blank and scratchy, write it down Hot and swimmy, lose the pounds connected to the stem of all you've placed upon your crown This era was before me, and it dragged me far behind Its messages are simple, but they're never very kind endless cycle now or never i'm a steaming vessel glancing back just to bite the gristle the sight of me lacks the entity that we need to see that we need to breathe sleeping dead on an opportune head look around everyone else has fled alone and bleeding memory deleting enemy defeating with a violent beating dont forget the physical consumption work hard to feel like your worth somethin dead end job i dont mean nothin waste away i dont mean nothin mental breakdown, i'm fucking irate now falling apart just to see if i know how anxious and lowly, i move ever slowly most say i'm lazy but i'd say i'm lonely (Doomknobs) Plastic and I'm loving it Grin, to the end, of the road, it's so stable but oh what a mess it would be if you stood with all those people Blackout so they'll never know you, they'll never get your person and as long as anybody knows it, they're never certain of anything or any fucking body plant the tip in the dirt again for every god damn hobby that they made for you, and never me, but that doesnt stop, the pleasant scene unravels for the first time like it always knew it perfectly

about

this is the 1st demo for my new weird stupid experimental/hardcore rap thing that i'm doing now and its pretty fun

get a tape: nogrecords.tictail.com/product/nrp167-repressed-anxiety-collapse-20shitseenl

credits

released February 27, 2016

Thanks to Doomknobs for the sick feature, Matt B for the artwork, and Austin for the logo!

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Micah Jordan Henderson, Kentucky

All my projects/bands releases will go here. I do a lot of stuff. Check it out.

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